The findings are structured into a section on parents and parenting, followed by four portraits presenting the children’s perspective. The portraits illustrate the typology established combining intergenerational relations and children’s outcomes. The four identified types exemplified by the four cases cover the entire variation observed in our sample.Footnote 5 For reasons of confidentiality we describe our young interviewees making use of invented yet contextualised names.
Dyadic analysis offers the unique possibility to assess overlaps and contrasts between the relations’ partners, in our case parent and child (Eisikovits and Koren 2010). The two tertiary educated respondents, Zora and Afërdita, have an appreciation of their parent–child relation as authoritative which overlaps with their mother’s. They are high achievers in spite of different family background. The two non-tertiary educated respondents, Flori and Visar, have an appreciation of their parent–child relation as permissive which contrasts with their father’s view of themselves as being authoritarian. They are low achievers in spite of different family background.
Zora and Afërdita: authoritative parents and high achievement
Two women, Zora and Afërdita, experience an authoritative parenting style both in their and their parents’ perspective, with full family mobilisation and proactive school intervention. These factors translate into intergenerational high status reproduction for Zora, who comes from a highly educated family, and into upward mobility for Afërdita, despite the limited educational resources of her parents and the downward mobility they faced upon migration to Switzerland.
Zora
Zora’s parents came to Switzerland as asylum-seekers in 1992. Her mother had been a history and geography teacher in Kosovo. She started to work as a cleaner upon arrival, but later she completed her teaching diploma: today she works as an interpreter and taxi driver. She is active in community life by serving as the president of an Albanian women’s club. Zora’s father had been a skilled nurse in Kosovo. Since his diploma was not recognised in Switzerland, he first worked as a care worker. Later he managed to obtain a diploma: he has been active as registered nurse in a home for elderly person for the last five years.
Born in Switzerland, Zora was naturalised in 2005 at the age of 15. She graduated from the local Gymnasium and since primary school Zora knew she wanted to go to university. Her mother always said that her best time in her life was when she was studying. Now 22 years old, Zora is enrolled in French and English at bachelor level at the University of Zurich. At the moment she is spending a year abroad in the framework of the Erasmus programme.
Zora perceives her parents’ attitudes as both demanding and responsive. She emphasises that her parents had strict rules concerning the permission to go out with friends, while her Swiss friends were allowed to go out without any restrictions. However, she is also aware of the fact that her parents’ rules are more liberal than most other Kosovar parents living in Switzerland:
Zora finds her parents liberal in comparison to her countrymen. However, she emphasizes the importance of their openness as well as the cautious supervision of her parents. Zora’s mother confirms this point:
“My children are not going anywhere before I have met the family. I want to know where my children are.” (Zora’s mother)
The parents provided psychological support and protected her in tense situations with the school authorities. Zora experienced unfair treatment in school: her primary teacher wanted to track her into Sekundarschule B (a lower secondary track leading to vocational work), but the mother was against the teacher’s decision for her daughter:
“I think had I not acted as a mother, she as a child would have believed the teacher. You have a teacher saying “you’re not fit for Gymnasium”. And the mother says: (…) “No, don’t listen to him. I know (…) I believe in you. You can do it”. And they did it, but of course with lots of support.” (Zora’s mother)
Today Zora thinks her parents played a crucial role in her successful educational career. The parents supported their child by helping out with homework for example; they also organised family-external support, such as hiring a private teacher, to prepare Zora for the entering exam to Gymnasium.
“My parents have contributed a lot to get me there where I’m now. Because alone, as student you don’t have the possibility to stand up for yourself. You just believe the teacher.” (Zora)
Zora represents the first type of family relations, associated with intergenerational preservation of high social status in spite of parental initial occupational downward mobility due to the migration process. Mother and daughter agree in describing the mode of parent–child interactions as authoritative; in this climate the parents provided a strong psychological support to their daughter in her school career and mobilised both family-internal and family-external resources when deemed necessary. The parents were also capable to stand by the young woman, when they asserted themselves in the relations with the teacher. Finally they exerted a watchful control over her company: this form of social control proved important to her academic success (Coleman 1988). This is clearly different from the protective parenting style identified by Nauck (1999) as distinctive in Turkish families in Germany or by Domenech-Rodriguez et al. in Latino families in the United States.
Afërdita
Afërdita’s father came to Switzerland 1986 as seasonal worker and was joined later by his wife. Afërdita’s father is now a disabled pensioner. Her mother has been a skilled shoemaker in Kosovo; upon arrival in Switzerland she worked in a restaurant as a temporary staff member. Today she is a caretaker and cleaner in a private household.
Afërdita arrived as an infant in Switzerland. She holds a Swiss passport since 2012. Today 22 years old, she is enrolled at the Faculty of Arts at the University of Zurich. She has a smooth educational trajectory. Her mother was always attentive and showed interest for her daughter’s school matters. Particularly in primary school she was present for homework and gave their daughter intensive support, especially in mathematics. Her parents regularly stressed the importance of school. Afërdita liked to go to school and always knew she wanted to go to university.
Both mother and daughter describe the parenting style as responsive and demanding. The mother explains what a good upbringing looks like to her:
“A good education is to be there for your children. Listen to you children’s opinion. Help, if necessary. It is important that children are honest, but you have to be honest with him/her too. A good education is also when children feel that her mother or father supports them. If my child is afraid to tell me something, this is not a good education.” (Afërdita’s mother)
For Afërdita’s mother it is important that her children choose their goals:
“I’d like the children to have a goal. It doesn’t matter if university or a job (…) I told her, tell me what goal you have, and I’ll support you! (…) I’m aware that not everybody can go to university. Of course I’d be happy if they both went to uni, but I’m not putting pressure.” (Afërdita’s mother)
Afërdita’s mother always provided psychological support in school matters. In situations of interpersonal tension she protected her daughter, contacting the professor when Afërdita was bullied by her schoolmates or discussing homework with the teacher.
“Once in school, my daughter was struggling with a maths problem. I showed her how to solve it. No, not like that, she (the daughter) said: in a different way. I told her the result was correct. No, my daughter said. The teacher apparently looked at the approach. I went to the teacher and said: why are you making it so difficult for the children? (Apparently nobody in class could solve this problem). Then I solved it on the blackboard, with the teacher. And the teacher said: yes, your approach is correct, too.” (Afërdita’s mother)
Afërdita could rely on her mother’s backing. When the family resources reached their limits, her parents also organised external support. They also provided her with guidance in decision-making during her school trajectory.
Afërdita represents the second type of family relations in which the children experience intergenerational upward mobility in spite of an unfavourable family background. Mother and child both characterise family interactions as authoritative. The mother provides all types of support: emotional, psychological and practical; she mobilises both family-internal and family-external resources when necessary. When Afërdita was treated bullied at school, the parents protect her by seeking an active dialogue with the school. Such intensive resource mobilisation contributed to the Afërdita’s educational upward mobility.
Flori and Visar: permissive parents and low achievement
The two men, Flori and Visar, evaluate their parent–child relation quite differently from theirs fathers: they both describe their father as not demanding yet emotionally involved, while the fathers regret having been strict but not responsive enough to their sons. Their disagreement indicates a parent–child relation that is unsatisfactory for both sides. Under these circumstances, the parental educational background seems to have a stronger influence than in the case of the women. Flori’s father, who holds a tertiary education, can rely on family resources to support his son in school and manages to keep interactions with school. His son is not able to reproduce the educational level of the parents, yet he is attending vocational training. Visar’s father is less educated than Flori’s: he complies with school requirements yet he cannot support personally his son in school matters and is unable to mobilize external help. With no upper secondary qualification his son is drifting from one unqualified job to another.
Flori
Flori’s father came to Switzerland in the late 1980s, after having completed his law degree, as he could not find a job in Kosovo. With a seasonal permit he first worked as brick layer; today he is foreman in the construction business. Flori’s mother never entered the labour market.
Flori arrived in Switzerland at the age of 2 and grew up in a city in the canton of Zurich. He attended primary school in this city, where he felt discriminated by his school teacher. After Sekundarschule B, Flori found it difficult to find an apprenticeship: he unsuccessfully sent more than 200 applications. He then decided to attend an extra school year while applying for naturalization, in the hope that holding a Swiss passport would increase his chance in the job market. Flori considers the search for an apprenticeship to be the hardest time in his life so far. Today 19 years old, he is attending his last year of vocational training as a service technician. Yet he plans to complete another vocational training, for instance as clerical assistant, as a friend of his suggested him.
Flori describes his parents’ attitudes toward him as responsive. He emphasises their emotional support especially when he was looking for his apprenticeship and was systematically turned down. Yet he thinks that his parents were not very demanding. By contrast, his father regards his parenting style in general as demanding but not sufficiently responsive. Reflecting on his educational methods, he affirms:
“I’d have used a different method for explaining the homework. I’d have taken more patience and time for the explanations.” (Flori’s father)
The most striking feature in Flori’s case is the opposing appreciation of the parenting style by father and son. Many stories of children who did not make it to tertiary education present such a contrasted evaluation of family interactions.
Flori’s parents interacted with school teachers; however, they were not proactive in school matters. His father was not happy with the teacher’s tracking decision for his child and the argument that it is better to be a good student in an easier type of school than a bad student in a more demanding level. In spite of his dear wish to see his son tracked in a higher level, the father did not contest the teacher’s decision.
Flori could count on family internal support in school matters and homework, especially from his elder siblings. But he did not receive any family-external help, when he reached the limits of his family’s informal support.
Flori represents the third type of family relations, associated with children intergenerational downward mobility. In spite of his law studies in Kosovo, Flori’s father experienced severe deskilling upon migration and never managed to regain his social status. Father and child do not agree in their appreciation of the parenting style: the son feels that his caring father failed to provide a secure guide into school and professional life, as he tends to describe a “permissive” parent, whereas his father thinks he was authoritarian. The parents complied with the requirement of school involvement, yet they relied on a rather passive, subdued attitude. They nevertheless provided as much support as possible in school matters but lacked the capability to reach out for further, external support in more challenging situations.
Visar
Visar’s parents came to Switzerland in 1983. His father, a skilled mechanic for tractors in Kosovo, immigrated as a seasonal worker. As he could not resume working in his learned trade, he is now a warehouse manager. Today he regrets his decision to have migrated and he expresses disappointment about his son; he is pessimistic with respect to the perspectives of his family and his son. Visar’s mother is a housewife.
Visar came to Switzerland when he was 3 years old. He had a troublesome school career. Primary school was a “nightmare” for Visar, since he often experienced discrimination. Though the other pupils bullied him, his primary teachers never protected him in such situations. Visar regards himself as a ‘black sheep’ among white sheep. In his further educational path he never developed any interest for school. In this context Visar went to the lowest track of lower secondary school. Upon completing compulsory school, he could not find an apprenticeship because of his low grades. He started to work in the warehouse where his father is employed. Visar did not keep his job for a long time, and has since moved from one temporary job to another. Since 1999 Visar holds a permanent residence permit. Now 23 years old, he has little hope of improving his professional life. Yet he hopes his children will do better.
Visar’s father thinks he was strict.
“Education in my view is: To look after the children, to take care of the children so that they are fine. The other thing is pressure. You have to show them what their duties are. (…). It is not about violence or being tough, but simply to reward or punish the children. Take away their favourite things or giving them a present, so that they learn from their mistakes. For example, if they had bad marks in school.” (Visar’s father)
Yet he regrets not having been more responsive to his children:
“I’d do many things differently. Most of all, take more time for my children. Spend more time with the children. Be open with them and try to get their confidence.” (Visar’s father)
Visar’s perception of the way he was brought up by his parents is quite different, as he describes his parents as responsive. His father is his ‘best friend’. Yet he did not perceive his father as demanding, as he was always away, working on two jobs from 5 in the morning to 11 at night.
“My education was a bit of a flop. I was the youngest, so it was always something in between. They weren’t really strict with me, always a bit too nice. Dad didn’t have much time, so we were always with mum and she anyway was too nice. (…). We actually only respected my dad, but he was never home. “ (Visar)
Visar’s father regularly kept in contact with the school, yet he could not protect his son, nor could he give Visar any support in school matters; nor could he provide sufficient psychological support, as Visar completed his difficult school path. Visar felt that he could not count on support or help from his family or from outside of the family.
Visar’s story illustrates the fourth type of family relations, associated with intergenerational lack of mobility. Father and son describe the mode of family interaction in contradictory terms. While the father describes himself as authoritarian and demanding with little responsiveness, the son characterises the parents to have been little demanding but responsive. The parents assumed a helpless and hopeless attitude, being overwhelmed by the task of bringing up the child and being acutely aware of their lack of resources.